Today, we’re diving into what pegging is and how to approach it safely and comfortably.
WHAT EXACTLY IS PEGGING?
For those unfamiliar, pegging is a sexual activity where a female partner (traditionally) wears a strap-on dildo to penetrate a male partner anally. However, it’s also a common practice in lesbian relationships, using the same gear.
Sounds simple, right?
Not quite… for some people, especially men, it can be intimidating. There are also many lingering misconceptions around anything involving anal play, which we’ll clear up below.
- The anal region has numerous nerve endings, making it a source of pleasure for any gender or orientation.
- Enjoying anal stimulation has no bearing on a person’s sexual orientation.
- Just like women have a G-spot, men have a P-spot (the prostate) that can be equally pleasurable.
- The anal canal is relatively clean; “accidents” are rare if your partner has gone to the bathroom beforehand and is in the clear.
- Anal play can be just as enjoyable as other forms of sexual stimulation.
- Pegging doesn’t make anyone less masculine.
However, not everyone will enjoy it. Some are too nervous to fully relax—and relaxation is the KEY to pleasurable anal play.
TIPS FOR BEGINNERS AND THE CURIOUS
My experience with pegging has taught me a lot about making it enjoyable and comfortable.
Firstly, it’s similar to any other form of anal sex. Your partner needs to relax, and the anus should be gently stimulated and gradually stretched.
Remember: There’s no need to stretch excessively—this isn’t a scene from a German porn film!
Think of it like this: you already experience bowel movements daily, which are usually of similar girth. Plus, the anal muscles return to their normal state afterward, so ignore the “forever stretched” myth.
- Try using "anal trainers" if you’re struggling to adjust. These are butt plugs that start small and gradually increase in size.
- After mastering the trainers, you can move on to larger plugs or vibrating ones.
- Thinner dildos are great for beginners or those who aren’t comfortable with larger sizes.
The Lovense Hush 2 plugs are a great option for beginners and more experienced users alike, offering a nice introduction to pegging.
LOTS OF LUBE IS ESSENTIAL!
The anus doesn’t lubricate on its own like the vagina, so you’ll need plenty of lube.
And by plenty, I mean apply some, insert, then add more, insert again—repeating multiple times. Use more than you think you need, and add more as you go. Avoid warming or cooling lubes, as they can cause discomfort.
Use a lubricant specifically designed for anal sex, as it will have the right pH balance. Be sure to check if it’s water-based or silicone.
- Water-based lube is safe with all toys.
- Silicone-based lube is fine, provided the toy isn’t also silicone.
NOTE: Silicone lube will break down silicone toys, causing damage.
INVEST IN A QUALITY HARNESS
Avoid cheap, flimsy harnesses. Opt for one that fits securely and doesn’t shift or loosen, as that can make the experience uncomfortable.
- A good harness has variously sized rings and adjustable straps around the legs and hips. The material is generally stable without being uncomfortable, and you can use any toy you prefer.
- Poor-quality harnesses have thin, stretchy straps that offer little control, which can be uncomfortable or even painful for the recipient. They also may only accommodate one type of toy.
Ensure the base of your dildo is wide enough so it doesn’t slip through the harness ring.
When you’re ready, slowly insert the dildo, holding onto the base for control so your partner can find a comfortable rhythm.
ONE LAST THING
The key is to be patient, open-minded, and respectful. And if your partner gives you a firm “no,” respect their decision.
Don’t pressure them; honor their feelings.
