The concept of sex doesn’t stop at “intercourse.” Terms like “going all the way” don’t apply here, as intercourse isn’t the ultimate goal or a finish line — it’s just one of many ways to enjoy sexual pleasure. Sometimes it’s on the menu, sometimes it’s not.
Mutually satisfying intercourse is about more than a checklist of moves; it’s about style, flow, grace, and equality. Sure, the technicalities of different positions are relatively straightforward, but adding that layer of connection and care sets us apart from our primal instincts. That doesn’t mean sex can’t be passionate and raw, but unlike in the wild, where it often lacks creativity, romance, and mutual pleasure, human sexuality has the power to be all of that and more.
While some people believe that great sex should come naturally, we think that the willingness to learn and try new things can take sex from good to great. Intercourse, in particular, could benefit from a fresh perspective. The “norms” we see in movies don’t always reflect what feels best, and these 8 tips are here to help you reimagine and personalize intercourse.
1. Not the Ultimate Goal
Myth: Simultaneous orgasm during intercourse is the holy grail of sex.
This is a misconception that can lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment, especially for women who don’t climax from intercourse alone. Focusing on other types of stimulation can make intercourse more enjoyable for both partners. In short, intercourse can be a lot better when it’s not treated as the main event.
2. Safety First
If intercourse is on the table, so should protection. Many STIs can be transmitted with minimal contact, and pre-ejaculate can contain enough sperm to cause pregnancy. So before diving in, make sure you’re protected with condoms or birth control, especially if you and your partner haven’t discussed monogamy and testing.
3. Willing, Able… and Ready
Just as you wouldn’t start without a man’s erection, don’t rush in without ensuring that she’s equally aroused. Women often need extra stimulation through methods like manual or oral attention to feel fully prepared. And while arousal doesn’t always mean natural lubrication, a good-quality lubricant can keep things comfortable for both partners.
4. Accessories Are Welcome
Don’t overlook the power of the right accessories. In addition to lube and condoms, consider vibrators, rings, and pillows designed to enhance intercourse and provide clitoral stimulation. These tools can bring new sensations to the experience and add comfort during trickier positions.
5. Rethink Depth
Instead of always aiming for deep penetration, try varying depth to focus on different areas. Shallow entry can stimulate the nerve-rich outer third of the vagina and the G-spot. Deep penetration has its place too, but mixing it up can increase pleasure.
6. Variety in Motion
Forget the standard thrusting; experiment with different movements like hip swivels, side-to-side rocking, or slow grinding. Adding rhythm and variety lets you find a motion that feels best for both partners.
7. Hands-On Encouraged
Most women enjoy — and often need — clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, so don’t shy away from using fingers or a toy during intercourse. In addition, explore other erogenous zones: touch, kiss, or caress areas like the neck, back, and earlobes to intensify sensations.
8. Slow and Steady or Quick and Bold?
Men often feel pressure to last longer, but quality trumps quantity. Instead of aiming for endurance, focus on slow, deliberate movements and incorporate breaks for other types of stimulation. Ultimately, both partners should get a balance of what works best for them, inside and outside of intercourse.
