1. Educate Yourself
Learn the basics of anatomy — understand the clitoris, the perineum, and your partner's favorite spots. This knowledge will ensure a better experience. For a helpful reference, check out Em & Lo’s Sex: How To Do Everything.
2. Stick to What Works
There are moments when your partner hits the perfect rhythm, and instead of appreciating it, you might instinctively call out instructions that translate into faster or rougher actions. Resist that impulse. If you’re on the receiving end, just enjoy it and let your partner keep doing their thing without making them second-guess themselves.
3. Prioritize Cleanliness
Cleanliness should be a given. Wash your body and mouth thoroughly. Facial trimming helps prevent a rough sensation for your partner, while a clean pathway means more skin-to-skin contact. Some people also enjoy a bit of hair play, so communicate your preferences.
4. Give a Warning
Let your partner know before you finish. This not only builds anticipation but also prevents awkward surprises like sticky hair or running to spit in the sink.
5. Stock Up on Essentials by the Bed
Oral sex isn’t easy, but the right tools can make it smoother:
- Lubrication: It’s a must-have for dryness, flavor, or extended foreplay. (See My Top 6 Reasons to Love Lube and My Top 6 Favorite Lubes).
- Hair Ties: Keep your hair out of the way for better visibility and experience.
- Tissues or Wipes: For quick clean-up.
- Glass of Water: Prevents dehydration and dry mouth.
- Toys: Add creativity with items like small vibrators, cock rings, butt plugs, nipple clamps, stimulating gels, etc.
6. Experiment with Positions and Locations
Sometimes, changing your position or location is better than altering your technique. Do the same move but have your partner lie on their side instead of their back. Try new adventures, like being in an elevator — see how long you can go down on your partner before it starts moving again. Keep things fresh and exciting by switching up the routine.
7. Use Your Hands
Dual stimulation is a game-changer, as seen with Rabbit-style vibrators. Suck on your partner’s clitoris while using your fingers, squeeze their tush, or give yourself some assistance to avoid the gag reflex.
8. Mix in Masturbation
This tip can be tricky — touching yourself during oral sex might distract you if you let it. But it can also get you more excited and present in the moment. Plus, your moans can act as a sensual turn-on for your partner.
9. Communicate Openly
Communication is key in relationships, and that extends to the bedroom. Here’s how:
- Show Enthusiasm: If you’re enjoying it, let your partner know. Lack of visible enjoyment can take away the excitement.
- Talk Dirty: Dirty talk boosts libido, ego, and communication. However, avoid turning it into a critique session.
- Debrief Afterwards: This is a chance to share what you truly enjoyed, compliment your partner, and offer constructive feedback. Knowing what works and what doesn’t can help you both improve your intimate experiences.
10. Follow the Golden Rule
Treat your partner with the same care and attention you’d want for yourself. If you’re exhausted after an incredible orgasm they gave you, don’t worry — just make sure next time it’s all about them. Mutual pleasure is the foundation of a fulfilling sexual relationship.
