Why Every Woman Should Embrace Self-Pleasure (Even in a Relationship)

We once encountered a woman who proudly declared, “I’ve always had dick, so I don’t need to masturbate.” We were stunned — our eyes widened, jaws dropped, and we were momentarily in disbelief. How could she make such a statement in the 21st century? Women should explore their own pleasure! We tried to explain that it’s not about obligation but about desire — taking control of your own sexual satisfaction and discovering what you enjoy without always depending on someone else. We pleaded with her to embrace this idea and even convinced her to consider buying a vibrator (see: 10 Toys Every Girl Should Have in Her Treasure Chest).

Why Some Women Don’t Masturbate

There are many reasons why some women still hold onto outdated beliefs about self-pleasure:

1. Early Negative Experiences:
   She may have been caught by her mother touching herself when she was young, who then discouraged it by saying, “Stop that right now!” This often led to masturbation being seen as something shameful, like stealing someone’s toy or picking her nose in public.

2. Lack of Education:
   Most sex education still falls short in helping women become comfortable with their own bodies. Lesson #1: the clitoris, not the vagina, is the key to sexual pleasure.

3. Misguided Beliefs Passed Down:
   She may have been exposed to myths about masturbation, such as:

• It’s uncivilized or animalistic and beneath refined people.
• Clitoral stimulation is an inferior substitute for a man’s inserted penis.
• Masturbation in excess could damage the vagina, nerves, or reproductive system.
• Sexual acts that don’t result in reproduction are sinful.
• Women don’t have sexual needs or desires like men do.
• Masturbation is something only single, lonely, desperate people do.

The list of reasons why some women don’t explore self-pleasure is extensive.

Why ALL Women Should Masturbate

There are numerous reasons why every woman — single or in a relationship — should embrace self-love:

1. Health Benefits:
   The World Association for Sexual Health, an international group of sexologists, states that sexual pleasure, including self-pleasure, promotes physical, psychological, intellectual, and spiritual well-being.

2. Mental and Emotional Health:
   Studies have shown that women who use sex toys to self-pleasure experience higher sexual desire, greater satisfaction, and better chances of reaching orgasm.

3. Endorphin Release:
   Masturbation releases endorphins, which create a natural high and help alleviate stress and depression.

4. Physical Relief:
   Orgasms can even relieve menstrual cramps and PMS discomfort.

5. Future Genital Health:
   The pelvic floor muscles get a workout during self-pleasure, which strengthens them and supports future genital health.

So, you might want to swap an apple a day for a daily dose of self-love.

Why Masturbation is Beneficial Even in Relationships

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean giving up self-love. You don’t stop enjoying hobbies, working out, or socializing, so why should self-care disappear?

1. Better Communication and Satisfaction:
   Knowing your body allows you to communicate your desires more clearly with your partner, making it easier for him to follow instructions — usually more effectively with his fingers than just penetration.

2. Increased Libido:
   Self-pleasure boosts your sexual desire, meaning you’ll likely want partner sex more often.

3. Enhanced Sexual Sensitivity:
   Masturbation trains your body and mind to respond to touch and sensation more efficiently.

4. Exploring Fantasies Without Guilt:
   While self-loving, you’re free to indulge in fantasies — even the ones that don’t include your current partner. Fantasies aren’t wrong or shameful, and self-pleasure allows you to explore them comfortably.

Self-pleasure is a fundamental life skill — on par with boiling an egg, writing a CV, or using a diva cup.

At the very least, it’s the easiest way to enjoy sex whenever and however you want, with no strings attached.

So what more reason do you need?